


oopsy

by wrenlans (honeyandjam)



Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Thieves, Clubbing, Espionage, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sexual Tension, Shim Jaeyoung | Wyatt-centric, all of the ships are just implied, wyatt is in a playboy bunny outfit it is imperative to me that you all understand this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-21 16:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30024810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyandjam/pseuds/wrenlans
Summary: Amateur thieves/professional idiots Jaeyoung and Seungjoon might have bitten off more than they could chew when they decided to set their sights on the young, powerful and impossibly wealthy Kim Hyojin.
Relationships: Kim Hyojin/Lee Seungjun | J-Us, Kim Hyojin/Shim Jaeyoung | Wyatt, Lee Changyoon | E-Tion/Shim Jaeyoung | Wyatt, Lee Seungjun | J-Us/Shim Jaeyoung | Wyatt
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25





	oopsy

**Author's Note:**

> howls at [wyatt in black bunny ears](https://blog.kakaocdn.net/dn/Vgmcz/btqZRq65BvY/oyl3RbEKQNJOuqXF0ifNw1/img.gif)
> 
> title from oopsy by weki meki

"Yeah I can see him.”

"You're supposed to say 'target acquired boss' or 'objective in sights chief' or something cool like that." The voice in Jaeyoung's earpiece crackled as Seungjoon whined about Jaeyoung's plain vernacular.

"Whatever man." It was all the same to Jaeyoung, who just rolled his eyes and looked back at their target, more so for Seungjoon than himself.

Their mark was currently lounging on a resplendent silk chaise lounge. It was kind of funny, Jaeyoung thought. The man's feet could barely reach the ground and yet he was emitting the most intimidating aura out of everyone in this godforsaken club. Kim Hyojin. Heir to only about 7 media conglomerates and major shareholder of dozens more. Worth billions and earning even more than that every minute. Anything broadcasted in this state was more or less under his and his family's thumb, and he sure didn't hesitate to carry himself like that, elegantly sprawled out over the lounge like the head lion haughtily looking over his pride. Fine silver in intricate finishings adorned his neck and ears but even they seemed dull and tacky compared to the lustre of his shrewd eyes and sharp smile. Jaeyoung shivered in spite of himself. Being so close to the radiance of his awesome yet sickening perfection just made Jaeyoung even more eager to drop the tracker in Hyojin's drink and get the hell out of there.

"Can you see him?" Jaeyoung's eyes watered as he tried his best to keep them open, allowing the microlens in his contacts to focus, where Seungjoon was remotely scanning the scene through Jaeyoung's eyes.

"Yeah I see Hyojin and his stupid tiny head. Is his drink ready yet? Have you put the tracker in? Can you spit in his drink for me?”

Jaeyoung answered a firm no to all three questions as he discreetly tried to adjust the black leotard clinging to his hips. The stylists had told all servers that these outfits were made to their exact dimensions, so why were they still so goddam tight? Or maybe that was just how playboy bunny costumes worked. He was still trying to process how exactly he got here in the first place.

Scoping out this place long beforehand, Jaeyoung and Seungjoon had both applied for the quickest available position, which so happened to be bunny servers. They had assumed, if only one of them were to get the position, it would've been Seungjoon. They had assumed wrong. The email confirming Jaeyoung's employment had both of them lost for words.

"Y'know, it was probably inevitable." Seungjoon wheezes, wiping his tears of laughter. "Twinks like me come a dime a dozen. This-" He gestures to Jaeyoung, "takes work, and effort. It's cool. It's fresh. It's exciting. Go and be the hottest, sluttiest, most himbo playboy bunny the world has ever seen!" Seungjoon cackles.

Jaeyoung would be lying if he said he wasn't comfortable though. The leotard clung to him, but it clung like a second skin. It sat in all the right places on his body, no part too big or too bunched up or too saggy like cheap party store costumes. Hell, even the more expensive sets from high-class lingerie stores wouldn't be able to hold a candle to this. Jaeyoung didn't even know what material it was, but it truly felt like he was wearing nothing at all, which kind of did make him uncomfortable, so there was the trade-off he guessed. Even the fishnet stockings, which he imagined would be irritating and scratchy, felt light as air. They were more akin to delicate markings on his skin than any actual material he could physically feel. Oh the privileges of being rich, rich, rich beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. Even the servers at your events can wear costumes made of grade A calibre fabric. Jaeyoung looked at his reflection for the billionth time and adjusted his stiff, silky bunny ears. Sure it felt good, but did it even look good? It was stupid, to get self-conscious over a temporary disguise, but Jaeyoung couldn't help fidgeting in the highly revealing getup. All he had was Seungjoon’s word, who stood up and wolf-whistled when Jaeyoung tried it on for the first time. 

“You look like an entire nuclear bombshell. Adriana Lima can eat her heart out.” Seungjoon declared, long fingers excitedly flitting all over the costume. 

Jaeyoung didn’t know whether he felt assured, but it was too late at this point. He looked around at the other servers and true to Seungjoon’s words, Jaeyoung kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. From what he could see, it was about 60 percent of women with model proportions, 40 percent of twinks and 10 percent of _hims_. Jaeyoung was still thinking about the strange distribution of servers when a sudden voice boomed from behind him. 

“A gin and tonic for sir Kim Hyojin.” 

_Sir_. Jaeyoung pursed his lips together in an effort not to laugh. Jesus, why haven't we skipped skip straight to 'his majesty'? It was a challenge to keep a straight face as he held his tongue and carefully placed the drink on his silver tray. Waiting until the bartender turned around, and making sure that no one was looking in his direction, he subtly dropped the tracker in. It barely made a ripple as it dissolved into the liquid. Jaeyoung was yet again amazed. If nothing else, Seungjoon was one hell of an engineer.

“It’s showtime.” Seungjoon whispered. 

Looking at his reflection one last time, Jaeyoung plastered on a dazzling smile and walked towards the lair of the beast. Stepping in time to the music, he swayed his hips exactly how Seungjoon taught him to. Jesus Christ was he ever so grateful for the dim lighting. His back was ram-rod straight, his steps light and even as he sauntered closer and closer to the chaise lounge holding Hyojin. The click-clack of his heels was soft, barely there under the pulsing bass of house music, but it seemed to draw attention anyway. That, or the fact that he was approaching Kim Hyojin. That seemed like the more plausible option.

Jaeyoung desperately tried his best to stop the pounding in his head and heart as the man on the lounge looked his way and shot him an enigmatic smile. Even with the distance, even with the faint darkness, Hyojin’s calculating eyes seemed to sparkle. Jaeyoung couldn’t help but blink. As Jaeyoung stepped closer, he suddenly realised his complete oversight. There was another figure on the couch. Jaeyoung couldn’t believe there was a whole other person on the seat and he completely did not notice. It was like they blended into the plush padding of the lounge itself.

Jaeyoung blamed Hyojin’s hypnotic spell, the way he was unable to register anyone or anything else in the vicinity. The other person just sat there, too still and stiff. They were the spitting image of awkward and out of their depth, clearly not fitting in. Don’t get Jaeyoung wrong, it was all too obvious that this other guy was insanely rich. But it definitely wasn’t ‘Runs the entire city and signs off on billion dollar deals before breakfast’ kind of rich. It was more ‘Lives in a secluded mansion in the middle of nowhere making art that no one understands but will pay millions for’, if his oddly framed glasses, shitty haircut, and baggy designer clothes was anything to go by.

The closer Jaeyoung got, the more he could make out of both Hyojin and his mysterious guest. They were about the same height, similar build, but completely opposite auras. Hyojin, still smiling, nudged the other and nodded his head in Jaeyoung’s direction. The other turned and if Jaeyoung weren’t currently pretending he was a mere server, he would’ve stopped and doubled over in uncontrollable laughter. As soon as Hyojin’s friend looked at Jaeyoung he had straightened up, eyes almost bugging out through his glasses with how wide they were. His round, circular lips fell into a perfect ‘o’ shape as his pupils rattled around his eyes, trying to take in as much of Jaeyoung as they possibly could. It was downright comical, but Jaeyoung kept his expression neutral as he gently placed the drink down onto the small table in front of them. 

“Thank you kindly.” Hyojin’s smile hadn’t budged one inch from when Jaeyoung first saw it. 

He’s even better up close, Jaeyoung lamented. The peak of cool sophistication. A far cry from his spectacled friend, whose eyes were darting around desperately trying to pretend that he wasn’t greedily eyeing up Jaeyoung’s body. Hyojin hadn't even touched the drink yet, and Jaeyoung knew for a fact that Seungjoon would tear him a new one if he didn't see Hyojin drink the tracker with his own eyes. So Jaeyoung forced himself to think, think, think, and, finally, he had improvised a shitty plan to stall for time.

He turned to the friend, who was so clearly obsessed with him, and crouched down, squatting on his feet. That meant that he was face to face with his admirer. Curiously, his eyes were a very similar shape to Hyojin's, but instead of wit and cunning there was just full-blown panic. His wide eyes flitted to the dip at the front of Jaeyoung's chest. Taking that cue, Jaeyoung leaned forward, knowing that the view would go deeper. He leant a tentative hand on the guy's knee. 

"Hey gorgeous, you like what you see?"

If Seungjoon laughed any louder, it'd probably burst through from Jaeyoung's earpiece and then the whole damn jig would be up, but Jaeyoung couldn't just yell at Seungjoon to shut up, so he opted instead to smile, gritting his teeth and wait for a response. He waited, balancing precariously on the balls of his feet. In what felt like eons to Jaeyoung, the guy finally opened his mouth and, nothing. Not a peep. It was just Jaeyoung, staring at a completely speechless and flustered man. The rest of his face spoke for itself. He glowed red, from the tips of his ears down to the base of his neck. Jaeyoung wanted to be flattered, but Hyojin, who was now looking at them with amusement, had still not touched his glass. The longer Jaeyoung stayed, the more suspicious he was going to look, so he panicked and blurted out the first thing on his mind.

"You know, they say if you take a picture it'll last longer."

A sudden burst of laughter erupted from beside them.

"How cute.” Hyojin cooed. “He’s right Changyoon, you might as well take one.” He snapped his dainty fingers together and someone magically materialised beside him. He then looked pointedly at Jaeyoung and gestured to the space between him and Changyoon. Jaeyoung obediently got up from his squat and sat right next to Changyoon. The mysterious assistant held up an iPhone Pro 12 and Jaeyoung, caught off guard, instinctively held up the V sign. The shutter sound clicked rapidly but Changyoon hadn’t moved a muscle as the photo was taken and Hyojin still! Hadn’t! Touched! The! Glass! Jaeyoung just wanted to shove the drink down the other’s throat but that would most definitely result in his own death. He was about to get up, planning to cool his head and think of a new strategy until he felt a small hand on his thigh. 

“What’s your rush? Stay awhile. We’d both appreciate it very much.” It was Hyojin. His tone was light and conversational, but something told Jaeyoung that Hyojin's intentions were anything but. Not that he wanted to leave. Not that he could leave. He smiled and nodded in response, making a show of staying put. 

“So what’s your name?”

“It’s Wyatt.” 

“Wyatt.” Hyojin said it like he was repeating a joke. “You’re quite bold aren’t you?” 

His hand moved from Jaeyoung’s upper thigh to his hip. “Lucky for you I like that.” 

“I’m glad you do.” The possibility was buzzing around in the back of Jaeyoung’s mind, what with the outfit and everything, but the probability that at some point, Hyojin might actually fuck him became a lot more real than Jaeyoung anticipated and he wasn't really sure how to feel about it. 

Hyojin idly traced the seam of Jaeyoung’s leotard, “Do you like the uniform? It cost me a pretty penny, but I wanted to make sure all of you were in your best.” 

“I like it very much. _Sir_.” Was Jaeyoung a genius or what? Fireworks and streamers popped off in his head when he saw Hyojin’s reaction to the honorific. 

His eyes clouded over, darkening. Fingers that had now wandered to his ribs twitched minutely, as if Hyojin had lost and gained control of himself in that millisecond. Maybe Hyojin will now be so besotted with Jaeyoung that he can just give him the glass and Hyojin will drink it and then they can all go home. 

No such luck though, as Hyojin’s wandering hands had finally reached Jaeyoung’s chest. They pushed on him lightly as Hyojin leaned into Jaeyoung’s space. 

“Really, what’s a man like you doing in a place like this? Doing a job like this? Seems beneath you, in my humble opinion.” He whispered it right onto Jaeyoung’s lips. 

“Beneath me? Just because I’m wearing these clothes? Because I’m serving drinks instead of overlooking billion-dollar projects? If only we all had the luxury of being born with a silver spoon in our mouths.” Jaeyoung countered, tone light and playful which was a far cry from what he was actually feeling. In an effort to hide his complete fear, he toyed with the pure silver necklace decorating Hyojin’s neck. 

The air between them crackled with electricity, Jaeyoung doing his best to hold his ground against Hyojin. It was unbelievable. Hyojin was supposed to be the prey, but Jaeyoung felt utterly helpless, like he was staring right into the dark abyss of _the_ apex predator’s eyes, about to be swallowed up whole. 

The loud sound of ragged, choppy breathing reminded Jaeyoung that it wasn't just him and Hyojin. He couldn’t tell if it was coming from Changyoon directly behind him, watching a clearly private interaction way too closely, or Seungjoon in his earpiece, who was also doing the exact same thing. Gross. 

“Oh doll, that’s not the job I was talking about.” Hyojin’s hand moved from his chest to his neck, circling around the bare collar. For a second Jaeyoung thought Hyojin was going to pull him in, but instead his hands curled into the bow tie and pulled out a minuscule mic. Hyojin’s other hand snaked its way to Jaeyoung’s ear, yanking out the earpiece and all of a sudden, the brittle tension shattered. 

Hyojin held the mic up to his mouth. “Seungjoon, honey, did you miss me that much? If you wanted to see me so bad you should’ve just asked.” He laughed, high and superior. 

“Go lay an egg or something! You sonovabitch I’ll-” 

Seungjoon rattled off an expletive-filled rant so loud that it could be heard clear as day, even with the tiny earpiece out in open space. 

Jaeyoung just sighed and fully leant back into the lounge as the two traded verbal blow after verbal blow. Lover's quarrel or enemies joust? Jaeyoung didn't really know or want to find out. He reached for the long-abandoned and now completely useless drink, knocking it against Changyoon's hand, who was still rooted to the spot. He gave himself a silent cheer, and downed it in one shot. 

Talk about a bad hare day.

**Author's Note:**

> talk about a terrible ending
> 
> thank you all, i'll be here all night 
> 
> _tomatoes get lobbed at me, a gigantic chorus of booing deafens me. i get shot by firing squad._
> 
> really i just wanted this to be a drabble that i could immediately post on twit and then it became 2.5k. i just want to be free of playboy bunny wyatt 
> 
> if you want to yell at me for how god awful that ending was please feel free to [twt](https://twitter.com/wrenlans)


End file.
